Messiness Leads To Independence

by Debbie Twomey on May 2, 2013

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As a parent I try to keep messes down to a minimum or they get out of control. The real exception for me is when baby is first learning to use utensils. Then I have to give up all hope of neatness and just wait for the mess. The price of independence will be MESSINESS.

My mind understands this, it really does. But the clean-up is not always too pretty and sure can take a lot out of a parent. The key for me is knowing it is inevitable and short-term. I know it is a bit compulsive to want things to stay relatively neat but believe me I have seen those homes that are totally out of control and it seems too much energy is spent on cleaning over and over. I need that energy to keep up with Miss Mouse and Joshie so we can have fun.

I let my kids play to their hearts content—with one basket of toys at a time. If they are really little I do most of the clean up. Once they grow a bit, we make a game of cleaning up. By the time they are 3 they no longer think it is fun to clean up but still must contribute or not play with the toys of their choice. They get that quickly.

The one time I look the other way when everything hits the floor is when they first begin to handle a spoon or fork. Babies are working on their fine motor skills and dexterity and do not need pressure or restraints. They need encouragement and freedom to make messes until they finally master that skill. It is actually so cute to watch how they twist that spoon to get that food into their mouths.

In the meantime, prepare for anything and everything to hit the floor. They have plastic drop cloths for under highchairs but I found it was more work. They are going to drop, spill, throw, and even smear their food. It is a rite of passage.

My little granddaughter is 18 months old now. She has been mastering the fork and spoon for about 10 months. She is pretty adept but boy what a messy face she gets when she feeds herself. I love watching her determination when she is trying for one little pea. She seldom gives in and uses her hands.

I also love to see her face when she has eaten her whole bowl of yogurt all by herself. That sense of accomplishment is priceless. We parents clap whenever they finally master a new ability. This is meant to encourage and reward learning steps and baby’s respond immediately with a smile and wanting to please the parent even more. When it comes ot eating their sole goal is usually get it into their mouths they are hungry.

Messiness is a part of parenting but is just another stage your child will outgrow—at least until teenage hood.

 

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Messiness is a part of parenting but is just another stage your child will outgrow—at least until teenage hood.

 

"I have dedicated my life to the care and welfare of children. I feel privileged to share what I have learned with you. I am also committed to continuously learning.iStock_000004213744XSmall  I will keep informed of the latest information in parenting children from newborns to teens and pass it on to all of you.”   I will also use that same passion to help you create a dynasty generate increases in your business with straightforward and specialized media managing skills that guarantee your connection and scope will grow. Keep up to date reading our posts and discover valuable insights that can make parenting and succeeding in the business of the blogger– the most exciting adventure. (Debbie Twomey)
 
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