Hearing NO From A Parent Is A Healthy Expectation

by Debbie Twomey on May 8, 2012

That sense of Me that used to be associated with 2 year olds seems to be the face of today's teen. Were we that ungrateful and moody? Probably, but I know for me I was grateful for those times my mother did something for me; maybe because it was a rarity. The more we do for some kids the more that it seems expected or demanded and not respected. Entitlement is a nasty word for Today's kids and cultivates an ideology that is proving to be worrisome for tomorrow’s adults. 
A parent has a specific role when it comes to “parenting.” Every step taken is with the promise that your child will one day be on their own and become an independent, well-rounded and contributing member of society. More and more we hear concerns that this may not be possible given the atmosphere our children are being raised within. Hearing the word No when necessary is very healthy and beneficial to your children.

Schools have become so politically correct (or is it Incorrect?) that they seem to place all the responsibility for learning and a student’s success, squarely on the teacher’s shoulders. At what point is the student the owner of his own success? Onus (responsibility) seems to be missing in too many situations and needs to be placed in its proper place.

Honor and respect seem to be ideologies forsaken in the quest to provide adequate stroking of a child’s ego. That self-esteem has now become so fragile that boundaries and consequences may just permanently damage them and need to be replaced with “options”, “compromise”, “selective punishment”, “nurturing response” and so many other coddling techniques that our children have now discerned that they run the show and you answer to them.

Morals and values are dependent on what is popular. Deprivation of a privilege or electronic device is tantamount to child neglect. And worst of all, should we try to discipline our child in a way taught by the bible, we can be turned in by that child as abusive. Either by design or deceit our rights to parent our children effectively and biblically, have been taken away.
Moms and dads bear responsibility too. The hectic pace we live in makes it all too easy to rely on Internet, games, TV, and other sources to help watch our children when we cannot be there. Too often we choose to not put in the time necessary to parent our own child. It is not something we decided to do, sometimes it just happens that way. That is why the key to changing an entitlement outcome is being proactive—NOW.

Parents need to set boundaries and expectations of responsibility at all ages as their children grow.  We set expectations for our toddlers, for their safety and growth. That responsibility continues at all stages of a child’s life, it just changes as they mature.  Rules need to age as your child ages.

 Once a rule is set into place, take time to make sure that your child understands the consequences of misbehaving. It is important to be very clear and outline the rules and the consequences for breaking those rules. Make sure that your child understands that no violation of the rules will be tolerated. When your child breaks a rule, you will also need to be consistent in imposing any penalties that you had previously outlined with your child no matter their age. If you waver you will be in danger of losing your authority and the lesson will be lost. This is true when they are 2 and still true when they are 16.

Saying No is not a crime. If your child goes against the rules they should have consequences. The world is full of Nos—and some parents feel they should ease that burden in their own home but that is just setting up your child for disappointment and the inability to deal with the world as it exists. Enforcing beliefs and rules is your obligation as a parent.
Your job as a parent is to allow them to grow and develop their personalities by providing an environment that is safe and structured. Setting age appropriate rules for your kids helps to accomplish this” (Deidra Jones).




"I have dedicated my life to the care and welfare of children. I feel privileged to share what I have learned with you. I am also committed to continuously learning.  I will keep informed of the latest information in parenting children from newborns to teens and pass it on to all of you.”   I will also use that same passion to help you create a dynasty generate increases in your business with straightforward and specialized media managing skills that guarantee your connection and scope will grow. Keep up to date reading our posts and discover valuable insights that can make parenting and succeeding in the business of the blogger– the most exciting adventure. (Debbie Twomey)



{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Verda May 8, 2012 at 3:06 pm

This is  really good advise that every parent and grandparent needs to read.    


Ebarbagallo May 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

Great information!  Saying “No” is a message to your children that you love them enough to make sure they do not hurt themselves or someone else and that you want them to grow up strong, healthy and well-adjusted.


Mark Vail May 9, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Love this! Great job Deb!


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